I have wasted so much of my life waiting for the next thing. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for my wedding day, waiting for baby to come, waiting for baby to sleep through the night, waiting for baby to sit, crawl, walk. I’ve finally learned to be content in the waiting. But back to the start of my baby journey…
Waiting for baby to be born
I could barely contain myself! I was so excited!
Everyday at work I would secretly open up the excel spreadsheet I’d created that counted down the days of my pregnancy.
Counting down the day when I would finally become a mother and have a cute baby in my arms!
Counting down until the day when I wouldn’t have to spend my days stuck at my computer in the office.
I remembered a friend ringing me a few days earlier. She was spending her afternoon at the playground/park with her toddler. I wanted that! To be outside in the sun. Playing with a cute little toddler! How fun!
My friend never mentioned any of the things that often accompany a day with a toddler – the tantrums, the toilet training and constantly having to watch them to make sure they don’t hurt themselves. I could only see the good side of being a mum!
When I finally left on maternity leave I was so relieved to be finally out of the office – after 10 years of working as an accountant in the city. To be able to spend my days at home was bliss to me.
I had 2 weeks before my delivery with no work, to relax and spend on me. It was fun! But honestly I was huge and really wanting to have the baby out of me!
When the baby came I was relieved to not be carrying around a big bump anymore, and being able to turn over in the night without having to hold my tummy to move my bump at the same time.
Waiting for Baby to Sleep Through
But there were many things I was not prepared for in having a baby. Even though my baby was the cutest thing possible I wasn’t prepared for breastfeeding, the soreness, the constancy of it all – every 3 hours – how did I not know this! I wasn’t prepared for the moodswings, the jealousy I felt over my baby. I wasn’t prepared to be woken up by a hungry baby in the middle of the night – multiple times!
I longed for a time when my baby would sleep through the night and I could sleep through the night too!
When my baby finally slept through the night, I couldn’t wait for her to sit.
Then to crawl.
Then walk.
I was constantly looking for the “next thing” when I should have been content in the moment.
How much time have I wasted by not being content in the moment? I hate to think.
The secret to being content
Learning to be content in the moment was only really possible for me after baby no. 2.
After baby number 2 I discovered an inner peace I’d never really known before.
I would wake up in the morning just happy to be alive. Happy to have him by my side. When I say him I mean my Creator. I’d discovered after baby number 2 that I could be so happy just by sharing my everyday life and thoughts and feelings with my Creator. He placed a deep joy in me that is hard to describe.
Craving the “next thing” disappeared, because I felt I already had all I truly needed.
Right here, everyday I was happy.
Even in the mundane everydayness of life with little ones I was truly happy.
And it all started with this book.